Christmas Stories from South Sudan: A Memory That Haunts and Teaches
A hut in Wau, South Sudan, March 2011
Lately, I’ve been thinking about South Sudan—a place that shaped me in ways I am still trying to understand. It has been nearly a decade since I last walked its dusty roads, coordinated life-saving aid, and faced the raw, unrelenting challenges of a nation in turmoil. The memories often linger, uninvited, especially one particular day—a story I have rarely shared, but which continues to haunt and teach me in equal measure.
It was during my tenure as the humanitarian expert in South Sudan, between 2010 and 2014. On this day, I was part of a mission to a village north of Juba that had been attacked by militias. The devastation we found upon arrival is etched into my mind: the smell of decomposing bodies under the unrelenting sun, vultures circling to scavenge, and the silence of a place emptied of life. Houses lay in ruins, blood smeared the walls of the church and the clinic—places meant to offer sanctuary had instead borne witness to unimaginable violence. It was as though the world had momentarily ceased to function, suspended in a tableau of horror.
The journey back to Juba that evening presented a new trial. We were stopped on a desolate stretch of road by a young man, barely older than a boy, armed with a gun. He was visibly nervous, his hands trembling as he pointed the weapon at us. We were travelling in a vehicle belonging to a humanitarian partner organisation, and the sight of this frightened youth only deepened the surrealness of the day. He barked incomprehensible words at us before switching to broken English. There were no clear demands—just a desperate, anguished scream from someone clearly battling his own demons.
What does one do in such moments? I don’t know if I acted out of wisdom or sheer survival instinct, but I remember speaking to him softly, keeping my hands visible, trying to project calm. We offered him food, and his response was nothing I could have anticipated. He broke down, crying like a lost child. The gun lowered, and with tears streaming down his face, he apologised for threatening us. He took the food and then walked away, his small frame disappearing into the fading light of the savannah.
The weight of that day still lingers. That young man, whose name I will never know, left me grappling with a profound realisation: trauma does not discriminate. The violence and suffering that had ravaged the village were, in a way, mirrored in the desperation and anguish of that boy. Both victims and perpetrators are shaped by the same brutal cycle of conflict and loss.
This memory, as painful as it is, remains one of the most transformative experiences of my life. It is a stark reminder of the fragility of humanity but also its resilience. In that fleeting moment, when we offered him food and received his tears, there was a connection—a recognition of shared vulnerability.
I have not spoken about this day much, but as the memory has been resurfacing recently, I feel compelled to honour it and the people it involved. Perhaps it is my way of making sense of it all, or maybe it is simply the right thing to do: to remember, to bear witness, and to acknowledge the lessons embedded in the most harrowing of experiences.
South Sudan taught me many things. It showed me the depths of human suffering, but also moments of grace and redemption. These memories are a part of me, and while they sometimes feel like scars, they are also badges of resilience, empathy, and, above all, humanity.
As I write this, I can still see that young man’s face. His eyes, filled with fear and sorrow, haunt me. I often wonder what became of him. Did he find peace? Was he able to escape the conflict and rebuild his life? Or was he consumed by the same cycle of violence that had shaped his world? These questions will never have answers, but they remain with me, urging me to remember his humanity amidst the chaos.
The village we visited that day is another lingering memory. The sheer destruction and the lives lost are a testament to the horrors that countless communities across South Sudan endured—and continue to endure. It’s difficult to reconcile such devastation with the beauty I also found in the people and landscapes of the country. South Sudan, with its rolling plains, powerful rivers, and communities brimming with resilience, is a place of stark contrasts.
During my years in South Sudan, I encountered so many people who fought every day to protect their dignity and their families despite the odds stacked against them. Women who would walk for hours to collect water or find firewood, men who laboured to rebuild homes that had been destroyed time and again, and children who smiled and played, even when the world around them was crumbling. Their strength is humbling.
That day on the road also taught me something deeply personal about the work we do as humanitarians. It reminded me that even in the darkest moments, small acts of kindness and understanding can have a profound impact. Sometimes, the act of simply acknowledging someone’s pain—offering food, a gesture of reassurance, or a word of compassion—can shift a situation from one of violence to one of connection. It is a lesson I carry with me in every mission, every meeting, and every decision I make.
As the years have passed, my career has taken me far from South Sudan. Yet the experiences I had there have never left me. They shape the way I approach humanitarian work and my interactions with the people I encounter. I strive to see the humanity in every individual, to understand the complexities of their experiences, and to approach each situation with humility.
To those who have lived through South Sudan’s conflict, who have lost loved ones, and who have faced unimaginable challenges, I carry your stories with me. To that young man on the road, whose vulnerability revealed to me the enduring humanity beneath the violence, I hope you found a path forward. And to myself, I remind that these memories, though painful, are a testament to the importance of the work we do.
This story is not easy to share. But as I sit here in Caracas, so many miles and years away from that road north of Juba, I feel the need to bear witness. It is my way of honouring the people I met, the lessons I learned, and the humanity that continues to inspire me in the face of despair. These stories are not just mine; they are part of the collective memory of everyone who has worked and lived in South Sudan. By sharing them, I hope they serve as a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the profound impact of even the smallest acts of compassion.
Reflections on 2024: A Year of Adventures, Gratitude, and Connection
Happy Holidays!
Dear Friends,
As 2024 comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on a year that has been filled with incredible journeys, meaningful connections, and milestones that I will cherish forever. I hope this message finds you well and that you’re ending the year surrounded by love, warmth, and peace.
This year was especially significant for me as I officially became a Portuguese citizen. I am now a proud national of two countries, and this fills me with immense gratitude. Portugal, and especially the beautiful town of Óbidos, holds a very special place in my heart. The warmth of its people, its unique charm, and its deep cultural heritage make it a place where I feel truly at home. I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to call Portugal my second home and to carry this connection with me wherever I go.
The year has also been filled with travel, which continues to be one of the greatest joys in my life. The highlight of 2024 was without a doubt my trip to Japan with my Mum. All the journeys I’ve shared with her over the years have been extraordinary, but this one was particularly special. There’s something magical about discovering the world with her—she’s an incredible travel companion, full of curiosity, kindness, and the best sense of humour. Together, we explored Kobe’s serene gardens, marvelled at Tokyo’s vibrant energy, and shared countless laughs over the delights of Osaka. I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to experience the world with her, and I truly hope that we’ll be able to plan another adventure together soon.
Among the many surprises this year was my short but fascinating visit to Trinidad and Tobago. It wasn’t a destination I had planned extensively, but it ended up being a delightful revelation. The islands’ vibrant cultural diversity, the friendliness of the people, and the sheer beauty of the landscapes left a deep impression on me. From the delicious local cuisine to the lively rhythms of the music that seem to fill the air everywhere you go, Trinidad and Tobago felt like a celebration of life. It’s a place I’d love to return to, and one that I’d encourage anyone to experience if they get the chance.
Other journeys took me to Washington, D.C., where I reconnected with the history and energy of the city, and to Panama, which welcomed me back with its warmth and vibrancy. France, Belgium, and Luxembourg were a mix of work and pleasure, allowing me to enjoy the elegance of Lille, the bustling energy of Brussels, and the tranquil charm of Luxembourg. Poland, as always, brought me a sense of grounding and the irreplaceable joy of spending time with family, especially Mum. Turkey amazed me with its vibrant bazaars, breathtaking landscapes, and rich history, rounding out what has been a remarkable year of travel.
Now, I find myself in Caracas, Venezuela, preparing to spend Christmas and New Year here. Venezuela is breathtaking, with its stunning landscapes and vibrant culture, but it’s the people who have truly touched my heart. My Venezuelan colleagues and friends are extraordinary—resilient, warm, and full of life. Working here has been incredibly fulfilling, and even after so many years in the humanitarian sector, I feel deeply grateful for the chance to do this work and to collaborate with such inspiring professionals from all over the world.
This year has also been shaped by the incredible people in my life. Leo, my friend who recently moved from Venezuela to Madrid, is someone I hold in high regard. I met him while living in Caracas, where he worked as my housekeeper. Leo comes from a very humble background and has faced numerous challenges throughout his life, yet he has always carried himself with kindness, determination, and grace.
Since moving to Madrid, Leo has shown remarkable resilience. He has already taken important steps to establish himself, including opening a bank account, securing health insurance, and applying for a student visa with a work permit. In January, he will start a professional training course, and he has also begun the process of volunteering with the Spanish Red Cross to support others while integrating into his new community. While he knows that volunteering won’t bring financial independence, he sees it as a chance to give back, integrate into his new community, and gain valuable experience. Leo’s courage and optimism are truly inspiring, and I am so proud of his progress. If you can offer him any support—be it advice, connections, or a kind word—it would mean so much to both of us.
Another story that brought me great joy this year is that of a young Colombian friend I met in 2019 in Panama. At the time, he was struggling to find his way, but through his hard work and determination, he has since built a small business that employs others. What moves me most is how he treats his employees—with respect and care, ensuring they feel valued. Stories like his remind me of the incredible potential we all have to overcome challenges and thrive.
While in Barbados, I also met a Venezuelan woman who fled her home to escape abuse. Barbados gave her the chance to rebuild her life, and she embraced it with strength and determination. She learned English, adapted quickly, and now works as a tour operator, sharing her passion for her adopted country with visitors. Her grace, professionalism, and passion were deeply inspiring, and meeting her was a reminder of the power of resilience and opportunity.
Looking ahead, 2025 promises to be another year filled with adventures and travels. I look forward to exploring new destinations, revisiting cherished ones, and, most importantly, crossing paths with many of you. The connections I share with all of you are among the greatest joys of my life, and I am endlessly grateful for your friendship and support.
As we approach the festive season, I wish you happiness, peace, and joy, however you choose to celebrate—or even if you don’t celebrate at all. May this time bring moments of connection and reflection, wherever in the world you may be.
Thank you for being part of my journey this year. Here’s to 2025—a year of hope, kindness, and new adventures!
Warmest wishes,
Roman
Back in Caracas: Refreshed and Ready for the Holiday Season
Centre of the city, Caracas, Venezuela, January 2024
After a week of sun, sea, and exploration, I’m back in Caracas, feeling rejuvenated and grateful for the experiences of my recent travels. My journey took me to the captivating shores of Barbados and the vibrant islands of Trinidad and Tobago, and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to recharge as the year draws to a close.
Barbados was everything I imagined and more. Bridgetown, with its historic streets and UNESCO-listed charm, was a highlight, offering a perfect blend of cultural richness and coastal beauty. From the lively rhythms of its markets to the serene turquoise waters lapping against its shores, the island left an indelible mark on me.
My brief stopover in Trinidad and Tobago was just as rewarding. While my time there was short, the vibrancy of the culture, the warm hospitality of the people, and the lush, tropical landscapes were unforgettable. It’s a destination that leaves you wanting more, and I’m already dreaming of a return visit.
For those interested, I’ve created two photo galleries capturing the essence of these adventures. You can explore my Barbados gallery and my Trinidad and Tobago gallery to see the highlights of these incredible places.
Now back in Caracas, I find myself in a reflective mood, both looking back on the experiences of this year and ahead to what’s next. December is always a balancing act—tying up loose ends at work while preparing for the holidays. It’s a time to both reflect on the journey of the past 12 months and lay the groundwork for the year to come.
As part of my year-end tradition, I’m working on a Christmas Letter, which I’ll be sharing soon. It’s my way of reconnecting with friends and loved ones, and of celebrating the connections that make each year so meaningful.
For now, I’m settling into the rhythm of the holiday season, grateful for the adventures that 2024 has brought and excited for what lies ahead in 2025. Stay tuned for more updates, musings, and perhaps a few surprises as we close out the year together.
Caribbean Chronicles: A Journey Through Trinidad and Tobago and Barbados
Animal Flower Cave Road, Barbados, December 2024
As I pen this post from the vibrant streets of Bridgetown, Barbados, with the gentle Caribbean breeze brushing past me, I am filled with gratitude for the experiences of the past week. The islands of Trinidad and Tobago and Barbados have not only offered me their natural beauty but also a cultural richness and warmth that will stay with me long after I leave.
The Vibrant Soul of Trinidad and Tobago
My journey began in Trinidad and Tobago, a twin-island nation brimming with contrasts. Trinidad welcomed me with its bustling urban energy. Port of Spain’s lively streets were a sensory feast: from the aromatic scents of doubles at a street vendor to the vibrant sounds of soca and calypso that seemed to echo everywhere.
Venturing into the lush greenery of the Northern Range, I found myself surrounded by nature’s bounty. The Asa Wright Nature Centre felt like stepping into another world—a paradise of exotic birds, shimmering waterfalls, and dense rainforests. And of course, there was Tobago, its serene beaches offering a stark contrast to Trinidad’s dynamism. The unspoiled charm of Pigeon Point and the calm waters of Buccoo Reef were perfect for moments of quiet reflection.
Barbados: A Living History
From the minute I landed in Barbados, it was clear that this island dances to its own rhythm. The UNESCO-listed area of Bridgetown and its Garrison was my first stop. Walking through its streets felt like travelling back in time, with colonial architecture whispering stories of the past. Yet, there’s a modern vibrancy here, where the old meets the new in perfect harmony.
The highlight of my time in Barbados has undoubtedly been connecting with its people. There’s an undeniable warmth in their hospitality, a genuine pride in their island’s culture, and a love for life that’s infectious. It’s easy to see why Bajans hold a special place in the heart of those who visit.
Exploring the island’s coastline was another unforgettable experience. From the rugged beauty of Bathsheba to the serene beaches of the west coast, the contrast is stunning. And then there’s the food—flying fish, cou-cou, and the sweet aroma of freshly baked Bajan bread were constant reminders that this island is a sensory treasure trove.
Reflections
What struck me most about both islands was their resilience and creativity. Despite their small size, Trinidad and Tobago and Barbados are cultural powerhouses, each proudly showcasing their unique identities. Yet, beneath their differences lies a shared Caribbean spirit—a love for community, celebration, and storytelling.
As I prepare to return to Caracas, I know this trip will linger in my memory. Whether it’s the rhythm of steelpan music in my ears or the view of a Bajan sunset etched in my mind, the Caribbean has left its mark on me.
For now, I’ll savour my last few days in Barbados, soaking in the final rays of tropical sunshine and promising myself that this is not a goodbye, but a ‘see you later.’
Caribbean Adventures Await – A Holiday to Barbados via Trinidad and Tobago!
Flags of Barbados and Trinidad & Tobago
I’m absolutely delighted to share that this Saturday, I’ll be embarking on a one-week holiday to Barbados, with a brief stop in Trinidad and Tobago. It’s been an incredibly demanding few months, and I’m long overdue for some rest and relaxation. The prospect of sunny skies, crystal-clear waters, and the vibrant energy of the Caribbean feels like the perfect antidote to my current exhaustion.
Barbados has always been a dream destination for me. I’m particularly excited to explore Bridgetown, especially the areas that have earned their place on the UNESCO World Heritage List. Wandering through the historic streets, soaking in the island’s rich cultural heritage, and visiting other cultural sites will undoubtedly be highlights of the trip. And, of course, I’ll make it my mission to savour the local cuisine – I hear the flying fish and rum punch are not to be missed!
Beyond the cultural wonders, I’m truly looking forward to immersing myself in the island’s natural beauty. Whether it’s gazing out at the endless blue of the ocean, walking along pristine sandy beaches, or simply listening to the soothing rhythm of the waves, I can already imagine how calming and rejuvenating it will be. The Caribbean’s unique ability to seamlessly blend tranquillity with vibrancy is something I can’t wait to experience firsthand.
Before landing in Barbados, I’ll have a brief stop in Trinidad and Tobago, which I’m equally excited about. Although it’s a short visit, I hope to get a small taste of its lively culture and maybe even hear some steelpan music – the heartbeat of the islands.
This trip is not just about relaxation; it’s also about rediscovering a sense of adventure and joy. I’m looking forward to disconnecting from the usual hustle and embracing the rhythm of island life.
I’ll be sure to share plenty of photos and updates along the way. Stay tuned for what promises to be a vibrant and rejuvenating experience!
Birthday Celebrations, Work Travels, and Holiday Plans
Residence of Poland, Caracas, Venezuela, November 2024
As I sit down to write this post, I can't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the past two weeks, which were full of joy, surprises, and exciting plans for the coming days.
First and foremost, I want to share that I recently celebrated my birthday, and thanks to my incredible friends, it turned into an unforgettable experience. In fact, I had not just one, but two separate celebrations! Both parties were filled with laughter, great food and the warm company of people who made me feel truly cherished. It was a reminder of how lucky I am to be surrounded by such a caring community, especially in a place as dynamic and, at times challenging as Caracas. Thank you to everyone who made my birthday special!
Adding to the highlights of recent weeks, I had the pleasure of attending the celebration of the National Day of Poland at the Polish Embassy in Caracas. The event was truly special, and I enjoyed meeting new people, particularly members of the Polish community who have settled here in Venezuela. It was heartwarming to connect with fellow Poles, exchange stories, and share a moment of cultural pride so far from home.
On the professional front, after a longer break, I am finally heading out on a work mission to the State of Sucre. This trip has been on my mind for quite some time, and I am thrilled to be getting back into the field. During this visit, I will be checking in on various humanitarian projects, which is always a rewarding and eye-opening experience. There is nothing quite like seeing the impact of our collective efforts first-hand and connecting with the communities we aim to support. I will be leaving tomorrow and expect to return to Caracas by Wednesday evening. It promises to be a packed schedule but one that I am truly excited about.
Looking ahead, the first week of December holds much-anticipated break as I will be heading to Barbados for some holiday downtime. The thought of relaxing on a beach, exploring the culture, and enjoying the warm hospitality of the island is giving me plenty to look forward to. I can hardly wait!
A quick update on Leo: he has now been in Madrid for three weeks and is settling in well. The initial days were busy as he navigated the essentials of starting a new life in a foreign country, including opening a bank account, obtaining health insurance, and preparing all the necessary paperwork for his student visa and work permit. The great news is that his application has been submitted, and our lawyer remains optimistic about a positive outcome in the coming months. Leo is adjusting well, discovering the city, and, amusingly, experiencing his first bout of true European cold weather! He is grateful for the overwhelming support from everyone who has helped hi get to this point!
As for Christmas, I will be spending the holiday in Caracas, which I am eagerly looking forward to. It will be wonderful to celebrate with friends and enjoy the festive spirit here.
Finally, I will be updating the photo galleries from my upcoming trips and posting them online, so stay tuned on more snapshots and stories from my journeys (for now you can peep in into latest Venezuela photos, by clicking at this link).
Until next time, take care and thank you for being a part of my life's adventures!
Birthday Reflections and Upcoming Holiday Plans
Club Tachira, Caracas, Venezuela, November 2024
Today is my birthday, and it's given me a chance to pause and reflect on the journey so far. Celebrating here in Caracas, I feel grateful for the experiences, challenges and personal growth that this year has brought. While life here hasn't always been easy, it's shaped my perspective, reminding me of the importance of resilience, adaptability, and, perhaps most importantly, staying grounded. This birthday, I'm feeling a renewed sense of purpose and gratitude for all that I've learned and achieved, both in my work and in my personal life.
Work has kept me busy, yet lately, I've found it less overwhelming. The steady rhythm is allowing me to catch my breath a bit, creating space to appreciate each day—even amid the familiar chaos. The celebration yesterday (we had a party yesterday) felt special, shared with friends and colleagues who have become like family here. Those moments make the time in Caracas richer and remind me why I do what I do.
But as much as I love this work and place, I am also looking forward to something I haven't had in a while: a real holiday. After months of being grounded in Caracas, I've finally booked a trip to Barbados for a week, with a quick stopover in Trinidad and Tobago. It's the kind of break I've been raving for ages—a chance to unwind, explore, and simply be.
In Barbados, I am planning on taking things slow. I can't wait to explore the island, go sightseeing, and take long walks along the beaches and in the towns. I'm looking forward to absorbing the Caribbean atmosphere, discovering the local flavours, meeting new people and getting a feel of the rhythm of island life. It's a much-needed escape, and the promise of warm sun, blue waters, and a change of scenery feels like the perfect way to reset and recharge.
So here's to another year, to all that lies ahead, and to the gift of time to reconnect and reflect. I'll be sharing updates from the journey and hopefully some fantastic photos—stay tuned for a taste of the Caribbean!
Some stabilisation at last
Las Mercedes, Caracas, Venezuela, October 2024
Life and work continue to be challenging here in Caracas, but there are some positive developments too. My visa extension has finally been granted, which gives me much-needed peace of mind and flexibility to plan my personal life a bit better. Now, I can start thinking about travelling to rest and visiting family and friends. This is really good news.
Another piece of good news is that, together with some good friends, we are about to finalise a deal to help someone in need secure a scholarship for studies in Spain. I will refrain from providing all the details yet, as some final arrangements still need to be made, but things look positive for the young person in question, and this makes me very happy! Hopefully, by the end of October, I will be able to share all the details about this exciting development.
I hope all of you are well, wherever in the world you may be reading this message.