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Latest stories from Roman’s life: ‘@ Blog’!

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New responsibilities at work


As I am handing over my responsibilities in relation of management of projects in Bangladesh, I am taking over the follow-up of files of the following countries: Mongolia, DPRK, the Philippines, China, Malaysia, Indonesia, Timor Leste and the countries of the Pacific. I will also be following up relating to protection in South and South East Asia, thus somehow still involved in Bangladesh and also Thailand. Exciting times!

World Refugee Day: a tribute to Tahir

World Refugee Day


We are about to celebrate the World Refugee Day. While it is important appreciating that religious, political persecution; as well as wars and conflicts have forced over 66 million people to flee their own countries (source: UNHCR), each of these 66 million people is an individual, individual with a name, with a personality, with a story, with dreams, with strengths and weaknesses, with good and bad sides. It is also good remembering that each of these individuals have an amazing power of interacting with their host authorities, host communities, host families, host individuals - and affect their lives in both positive and negative ways. 

There are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ people among the refugees, just like in any other group of people - whatever these groups may be. Refugees however are being confronted with extreme situations that many other people do not face.  They are confronted by losing the fundaments of feeling safe and secure, by hatred, often physical pain. They are take away, what most of other groups take for granted. ~Refugees are also people who struggle buying acceptance of the societies of their new homes - thus needing to deal with their own vulnerabilities, but also vulnerabilities of their hosts… Hosts, who may be having a powerful advantage of ‘being at home’, but who, like the refugees, have their own strengths and weaknesses; who can be wonderfully generous, but also horribly cruel, or perhaps scared. 

Although personally, I have been dealing with refugees and displaced people throughout my entire professional life, it is the last 2 years that have transformed my own understanding of the complexities of problems that refugees face, but also complexities that need to be overcome by their hosts. All of this is happening thank to Tahir - a young Pakistani refugee that miraculously became a reality in my life. 

The appearance of this young gentleman has put my life upside down in the most wonderful and scary way - quite literally! Ever since we met, Tahir had been teaching me humility; has been bringing an overwhelming joy, but also an extreme stress, sadness and fear… Quite conflicting feelings that some may discard as exaggeration. Perhaps true, but this is how I really feel what Tahir’s existence in my life is. 

Let’s take it step by step though… I met Tahir a little over 2 years ago. Freshly arrived to Bangkok, coming to start a new phase of my successful career. After having spent some traumatic years in the war-torn South Sudan, finally I was coming to Thailand - about to embrace the place where I could enjoy work and have a good quality of life, the place where I could forget about misery and suffering of people… I just rented my beautiful new flat, settled in my wonderful and comfortable office… Life was good… nothing could go wrong! Then one day, I was having my luxurious lunch, and here he was… outside teh restaurant, sitting on the pavement: malnourished, with helpless face, seemingly scared - young man - obviously asking for whatever the by-passers could spare, so that he could buy at least a little bit of food. 

Until today, I am not sure what made me approach Tahir, what told me to start interacting with him, what made me invite him for a lunch together. Whatever it was, it changed my life - for   ever… It brought Tahir, a person that since then, became a part of my family.

Time passed and we needed to learn trusting each other, needed learning overcome our own presumptions. 

So I had to learn that what Tahir was telling me was not an attempt to abuse a stupid Westerner, who had fallen for a story of a poor refugee; I had to learn that the most incredible stories that he had gone through were actually real rather than a part of some horrible war movie. I needed to understand that this incredible suffering was really experienced by him: by the person standing next to me. I also needed to learn that some of my actions were shocking to him: offering him a cappuccino in Starbucks exposed him to a stress of experiencing that a price of a cup of coffee was an equivalent of his monthly budget for food. I needed to learn that when he said that he was afraid of people - he actually meant it. I needed to learn that when his face looked uncomfortable in situations that I thought were normal - meant his immense stress for reasons that I would not understand. Finally I needed to learn that he was getting attached to me and somehow dependent on me… the experience that I did not know… 

On his part, Tahir needed to learn a whole lot too! He needed to learn that I did not mean to intimidate him by having my lavish lifestyle. He needed to learn that even if I may have had so much more that he had in terms of material goods, I was not a better person. He needed to learn that despite being financially privileged, I was vulnerable too - perhaps for reasons that were trivial to him, but nevertheless, very much real to me. He also needed to understand that when I was offering my friendship to him - I meant every word of it, that it is a friendship for good and for bad. He then needed to learn to be patient with me; and what is so important to me - given my physical disabilities, to assist me in a way that I did not need to feel ashamed not being so fit. We both needed needed to learn that we genuinely were saving one another. 

There is no doubt that meeting Tahir was one of the best thing that could have happened to me. 

The appearance of Tahir made me experience so many other unthinkable things… I learnt about the cruelty of systems and regulations, but also about amazing and selfless support of so many other individuals: 

Soon after I got to know Tahir, we decided to try normalising his legal situation. We thought of numbers of options: trying to legalise his stay in Thailand; trying resettling him to Poland, Switzerland, Australia and more recently Canada. In practical terms, this meant reading of thousands legal documents, frameworks or articles; endless discussions with lawyers, politicians, NGO workers, friends, journalists  It meant writing countless amount of letters and emails… Using all kind of approaches: from being reasonable and sensible to being over-dramatic and trying to put people to shame… 

Dramatically for me, The story of Tahir taught me that the country that I loved - my native Poland - could be the most cruel and heartless nations of all… a realisation that I find difficult accepting until today. Learning that my own people, the tribe that I come from, the place that I thought was dear to me, turned its back to a human being that is so desperately in need of help and protection. 

Then, there were hundreds of wonderful people too! Dozens of friends of mine that opened their heart and accepted Tahir as their friend. Dozens of people supporting Tahir financially, helping planning his potential resettlement to Poland (when we still believed it was possible), Australia, Switzerland and Canada… I got to know people that decided to go an extra mile and do amazing things for him, even though they never had met him. They were doing it just because they felt inspired by his story and decided that he had deserved attention and another chance. 

One refugee has managed to bring all these positive actions from so many: from people who are religious, but also those who are atheists; from journalists, lawyers, or nuns and priests; from people of all races and various nations of ALL earth’s continents, from people of different sexualities; from the wealthy, but also those who are much less so; from men and from women; from older ones and from young kids! The most importantly to me,  Tahir made me realise how wonderful my own family was… especially my parents, who offered to him an unconditional invitation to join our family… 

On a sad note, meeting Tahir made me realise that despite all of this effort from so many… we can achieve so little… It made me appreciate that if so many people are needed to lend support to just one refugee… there is little hope that, we, the humanity, would ever be able to find effective solutions to the remaining 66 millions… 

There are so many other things and experiences that I should and could write about. The point however is that Tahir made my life special in the most amazing way that I could never have expected and hope for. True: he also made me scared and worried more than ever - this is however human and a part of our lives. 

Writing this, we do not know whether we will be able to offer to Tahir opportunities that he deserves, whether we will be able to make his life a little bit more acceptable. While I remain hopeful that the future will bring some positive resolutions, I am so scared to contemplate what we may need to consider, if some of our plans do not work out…

Happy World Refugee Day to all of you!


Portugal Day in Bangkok

It is a Portugal Day today, and I am celebrating it in Bangkok together with Tahir! It coincides perfectly well with a fact that together with Kasia, we are finalising our arrangements to buy a house in Obidos! 😍🇵🇹! Really excited about it, and happy to be getting used to the idea that Portugal is becoming my new home!

The travel from Poland to Thailand went well. Still jet-lagged quite a lot, but as I arrived to Bangkok on Saturday morning, there is some time to catch up with sleeping and resting before making it to the office tomorrow. 

We have some additional information from the Canada Immigration suggesting that they are starting handling refugee applications of September 2016. Tahir’s application was sent in November, so there is some hope that they will start looking at it relatively soon. We are so anxious… please keep your fingers crossed. 

It seems like I will not be returning to Bangladesh anytime soon (at least not for a prolonged amount of time), and as of now, I am returning to my previous responsibilities of looking after South East Asian countries. While I will miss Bangladesh, it is a comforting thought to be able to spend more time with Tahir here in Bangkok. 

Finally, there is some positive news coming from Nowy Sacz. Dad is feeling better - far from being well and perfect, but so happy that he seems to be suffering far less than just a month ago. 

In Nowy Sacz

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After spending a week in Bangkok and then a week in Brussels, finally time to spend sometime in my native Nowy Sacz. It is great to be here and enjoy time with family. Good news is that papa is feeling somehow better, even if he stays in hospital. The doctors seem to be doing a great job in his pain management. This makes such a huge and positive difference for him and the rest of the family. 

So I will be here until Friday, and then back to Thailand again soon after. 

Another piece of good news is that the first instalment for a house in Portugal was transferred yesterday! This is fantastic news, and I hope that we will be able to secure the house that we want to buy soon! Viva Portugal 🇵🇹 😍! Really excited with this development. 

Discouraged and disheartened by Poland

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Some of you must have noticed how critical I have been of my own country for quite some time. It is hard to be so, as naturally Poland has been home for me for all these years. It is the place where I was born, the place whose culture influenced me, it is the place of wonderful sites and breathtaking nature. Finally I own to Poland so much. I owe to that country my education and that fact that I am still alive, as the Polish doctors made miracles to help me overcome my multiple illnesses. Finally, it is the place where my family and friends live, and after all, it is the place, which I used to call home… 

Despite all of this, we have been drifting apart. Although it is not just a matter of last few months or year, the recent developments in Poland have pushed my levels of acceptance of xenophobia to the limits. Month by month, I hear the speech of hatred towards foreigners, gay, non-Catholics, non-Whites coming not only from common people, but from Catholic Church leaders and politicians holding the most prominent functions in the country. I hear claims of Poland’s superiority over the others. I see the growing acceptance to organisations promoting the white supremacy. This makes me sad and scared. What I find the worse is that our Prime Minister, our President, various ministers of our government keep on verbally attacking and demonising all sorts of minorities, and keep on blaming them for all evil imaginable. This has hurt meand has made me feel uncomfortable. Week by week, month by month my passion for Poland has been evaporating. I have tried ‘fighting’ these negative feelings, I have tried challenging myself, tried explaining to myself that ‘I am biased’ and that ‘perhaps I exaggerate’.

Then a day before yesterday, Manchester happened. Sad and tragic event for all of us in the world. And as so many people try to calm the emotions down, try coming to terms and heal, our Prime Minister unequivocally points her finger at refugees: suggesting that opening your hearts to misery of victims of wars equals weak character and is an invitation to terror. 

I appreciate the fears, I appreciate a fact that governments have responsibility to keep us safe, but I can’t accept victimisation of the most vulnerable and the defenceless. I despite lack of courage to show leadership and solidarity with those who need to be helped. We have responsibilities to fight terror, but we can not fight terror by imposing terror onto others. 

The speech of our PM completely broke me. It broke me beyond repair. However little pride that I had left in me for being Polish was taken away from me yesterday. 24th May 2017 changed me, it made me lose any sympathy for Poland, it made me lose my willingness to give this country another try. Yesterday, the words of my PM made me feel unwelcome and unwanted by my own country. 

It hurt, but it made me feel better too. Understanding that Poland is not a place for me, made me feel liberated to some extent. I thought that it was better for me, and for the people that I so much disagree with to part and try finding peace away from one another. 

Many of my family and my friends will remain in Poland and I will surely be visiting them so I can cherish their lives. I may even be forced to return to Poland, as I will not be able to arrange my home elsewhere. It may well be, but Poland will never feel home again. 

While I wish all the best to the country that offered me opportunities, that looked after me, that helped me grow, it is time to say good bye. 

It is time to try doing whatever it takes to start arranging a new place. Surely, it will not be easy and perhaps it will not be possible, but  I am determined to succeed. I have now decided to become a voluntary refugee and wii try making some foreign land become my home. I hope to find peace somewhere and I hope that Poland will be prosperous and successful too. 


Back to Bangkok

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My longer deployment in Bangladesh is coming to its end. I have just returned to Bangkok, and resuming my previous responsibilities, e.g.: following on the humanitarian situation in South East and South Asian countries, rather than Bangladesh only. I will still be travelling to Dhaka from time to time, but for shorter period, and supporting our local team there, rather than heading the office of Bangladesh. 

It is good to be back home here in Bangkok and reconnect with Tahir. Lots of exciting prospects with his educations are coming up, and it will be nice to be able to participate in these in one or another way. 

At the end of the week, I am travelling to Europe again. I will spend a week in Belgium (for work) and then 6 days in Poland, where I will be visiting my family. As my dad is now in hospital, I am especially looking forward to seeing him soon!

Not a good beginning of May

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May 2017 is not bringing great news, so far. Dad is really sick. His cancer seems to be back, and the prognosis is not that optimistic at all. 

The house that we were interested in Portugal was bought by another person, we have just learnt. Shame, as I was so eager and excited about it. Now, we are going to be pursuing a possibility of buying the second choice house. Still in Obidos, still wonderful, but clearly not as wonderful as the first one!

Poland does not fail depressing me. Recent celebrations of national constitution just mercilessly expose that nationalism and xenophobia are strong in the country. This places scares me, and disappoints me. I feel hurt by my own country.

I am clearly sad today.

In Bangladesh again!

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A short update to let you know that after travelling around Portugal and Thailand, I am back to Bangladesh. I should be here around 4 weeks this time around, and I am likely to be between Dhaka and southern part of the country. 

As you might have seen in this gallery, the visit to Portugal went really well, and we are now trying to finalise all the paperwork to buy the house. It is not finished yet, so I should not be too excited, but I find it difficult not to be! I will certainly inform you the end result of this excitement!

This week, hopefully, I am going to write a longer update the latest developments in my life, and certainly a paragraph or two on the latest news relating to Tahir.

Packing for Lisbon!

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OK, this is going to be a very short trip, but I am exciting to be going to Portugal. Already packing, as I am flying a day after tomorrow. Not only that I am going to meet Kasia there… we are going to be trying to choose our new house in Obidos! I will surely post pictures of the most favourite properties. 

Yesterday, I made a mistake and spent lots of time reading Polish  newspapers. I nearly got sick. I do not recognise my own country. I am ashamed of being Polish. Hatred towards refugees, hatred towards people of Middle East origin (and some others) scares me. I can’t and do not want to accept it. I will not accept it, even if this means that there is no place for me in my own country. Feeling so very sad!

A lesson from Bangladesh to Europe

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Yesterday, we had a bit of panic in Dhaka. A suicide bomber tried to blow himself off at the airport. The plan did not work out, and for whatever reason the explosives went off too early. Luckily, he did not manage to hurt other people substantially. He was the only person that died. Two military personnel were slightly injured too. 

As expected, the incident caused a great deal of panic. But interesting, the panic was mainly exercised by the expatriate community. Foreigners complained, immediately imposed bans on movements, some cancelled plans of going to the airport. The usual thing that many of us would do in so called ‘the West’. On the other hand, the reaction from the locals was starkly different. Most decided not to pay much attention to what has happened. People did notice, of course, but decided to not get terrorised by those who want them to feel scarred. When confronted about the attack, my Bangladeshi friends would just nod their heads, and would simply ask about my plans for the weekend. ‘There is no point in worrying’ - they underlined. ‘The guy is crazy, they are making arrests now, and we need to hope for the best’ - most underlined. ‘By worrying, you let them achieve their goals, and you take so much of your happiness away from yourself’. ‘What’s the point?’ - someone else added.

Some of you are aware that I am very fond of Bangladesh, and like the country very much. When I wonder about why that may be, I think that it is the people that make me happy here. When dealing with Bangladeshis, things are simply and uncomplicated. People seem genuinely happy and are extremely friendly. The experience of yesterday, underlines it so clearly. I am sure that there is a lesson or two that we, the Europeans’ could learn from Bangladesh. Appreciating the moment, and not giving in to terror are just some of those!


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